Gen Zer demands cousin translate a poem to secure date, only for cousin to deliberately mistranslate and sabotage his chances

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Aug 20, 2024 9:00 AM EDT

The English language appears to have extended over the globe in our modern era. Because of globalization and America's immense cultural influence, it's nearly a given that you know a few terms in English, no matter where you are in the world.

The story below is an account of a petty cousin. Since he was a little boy, the original poster (OP) has spoken English fluently. Therefore, OP furiously rejected his cousin's sudden request to teach him English so he might woo a girl by reading her a poem. He was astonished at the idea of picking up a whole new language only in hopes of securing a date.  Even though he initially declined, the cousin persisted. In an attempt to teach his cousin a lesson, OP 'translated' the poetry word for word without taking into account grammar, and he then sent his cousin off to 'woo' his girl.

That being said, be sure to read the story below if you're interested in learning more about what happened after the cousin blurted out the so-called 'romantic poem'! Additionally, when you're done, don't forget to read the story of the worker who was promoted after it was found that his manager was living in his truck because of work-related expenses!

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    čeština Ελληνικά मराठी Türkçe suomi Norsk hrvatski lietuvių 한국어 español русский français 中文 tiếng Việt हन्दिी Svenska slovenčina "Considering you asked so nicely..." latviešu italia Dansk ਪੰਜਾਬੀ português українська תירבע বাংলা polski Nederlands slovenščina ودرا
    via canva
  • 02
    Wanted me to translate. So I did just that.
    via u/Alert-Librarian-6943
  • 03
    So during this summer I decided to put my English skills to use at my part-time job. I work at a local tiny Café on a small city in the middle of nowhere, so I oftenly go around and just say stuff like "Oh hey! That shirt means this, this and this!" and people are just somewhat surprised and ask me questions about how I know English so well and yada yada yada. The usual European elder people talk. Well, there was this cousin of mine that just
    via u/Alert-Librarian-6943
  • 04
    used to pass by for a cup of coffee on the way to work. He was very into video-games and books and social media, the usual person in the mid 20s if you ask me. So one day he decided to ask me "Hey, I want to learn English soo, can you help?" and I was like somewhat surprised because nowadays if you want to learn any languages you just download an app and do daily exercises or just
    via u/Alert-Librarian-6943
  • 05
    watch movies on that language (that's what I did). I told him just that but he wasn't satisfied he said he NEEDS someone to be with him to check on how he evolves on the language. I know my cousin fairly well, we talk daily, so he wasn't shocked when I gave him a pocket face asked his real reason. He said exactly this: "There is this one English girl that is a poet. She's fine and I wanna h k up with
    via u/Alert-Librarian-6943
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    her. I have this cool poem for them." I. Reddit. I stood there for 3 minutes in silence. He just wanted to learn the language for a good night??? Obviously I said that it wasn't worth all the work and that he could just let me see the poem and let me translate it. He refused at the start but then after some back and forths he ended up agreeing but he agreed in a not so thankful tone,
    via u/Alert-Librarian-6943
  • 07
    he sounded like a king sparing the life of a peasant and he said "Don't you dare change a thing on the poem! Just translate it literally and that's it." Okay. I'll translate it literally just for you since you asked so nicely. A-Ahem.
    via u/Alert-Librarian-6943
  • 08
    "Your eyes is how the sky blue. Stones brilliants on night starry. I myself ask if you cans see the mine's? Because defentively I cans see the yours the day all" (Portuguese to English if you are wondering which funny language is this.)
    via u/Alert-Librarian-6943
  • 09
    JasontheFuzz This poor girl has no chance with a wordsmith like him!
    via u/JasontheFuzz
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    FewTelevision3921 But then again; how some poets take license with the language and sentence structure, to where we have to interpret from "Englishish" to English, this isn't that much different.
    via u/FewTelevision3921
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    schnallenengel Very generic, to me. He might even score more points with this odd translation, than with the proper one.
    via u/schnallenengel
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    PunxAlwaysWin45 She yearns for the mines.
    via u/PunxAlwaysWin45
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    CoderJoe1 One step above the colors of roses and violets
    via u/CoderJoe1
  • 14
    Fast Vehicle_1888 Save some ladies for the rest of us, dude.
    via u/Fast_Vehicle_1888
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    ggrieves We as a society have forgotten about the tales of the grand gestures that men used to do for a woman's attention.
    via u/ggrieves
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    Alert-Librarian-6943 OP I agree. I feel a bit bad for him but the lack of "Can you, please and thank you" was just what led me to do this to him. But hey. Maybe she'll find the broken English cute. I'd certainly find it adorable if I found a man struggling to communicate their feelings to me on my own language lol.
    via u/Alert-Librarian-6943
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    GingerMarquis Do English women get wooed by poetry? I think if I tried that on an American girl she would flee for the hills.
    via u/GingerMarquis
  • 18
    liliette · 1 day ago Oh, pure gold.
    via u/liliette
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    Kathucka Google Translate exists.
    via u/Kathucka
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    Equivalent-Salary357 In many languages word order isn't as important as it is in English. This looks like a word-for-word translation which doesn't work out very well no matter which language you translate from or which language you translate into.
    via u/Equivalent-Salary357
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    I think the real problem with this is the translation. For instance, look at the 'word' "defentively".
    via u/Equivalent-Salary357
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    Alert-Librarian-6943 OP Yup! That's the point. All I did was translate the literal words. No change in grammars. No add-ons to make it make sense.
    via u/Alert-Librarian-6943
  • 23
    Julian_Sark Even if she decyphers the translation, she will probably assess that someone started of with the oldest cliché in the book, by comparing her eyes to stars and the blue sky, and be like: "Meh." Albeit, possibly, "Meh" in Portugese.
    via u/Julian_Sark
  • 24
    Gomaith1948 · 18 hr. ago • Your eyes are like deep pools, cesspools. Your teeth are like the stars, they come out at night. Your face is like a flower, cauliflower.
    via u/Gomaith1948

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oddly specific family drama lost in translation malicious compliance sibling rivalry translation english dispute reddit story petty revenge family feud petty Reddit oddly satisfying
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